
Spring is in the air on this, the day to recognize the spring equinox. For some, spring has been making an early appearance for a few weeks. For others, spring may still feel weeks away as the ground is covered in many inches of snow. Here in Southern Oregon, crocuses, daffodils, forsythia and more are showing off their blooms. There have been days interspersed with weather warm enough for pregnant women to show off their creations and new babies to be introduced to the warmer weathers.
In spite of all of the splendor which surrounds, there may still be an ache. A feeling of guilt that we do not feel as joyous as we would like at the announcement of pregnancies in our family and communities. There may be a sadness when seeing the beautiful little babies who have blessed others.
In these tumultuous days of spring, it as though mother nature empathizes with the pain which at times may feel encompassing and all consuming. Maybe you feel that a physical affliction would be easier as at least then people can see what is wrong. With the pains that we carry in our hearts such as the loss of babies too early to hold or see fully grown, we have to be brave and open in order to share. The words may not come easy. Even thoughts of sharing may lead to a throat lump, which can only mean that tears are not far behind. For those who struggle with becoming or staying pregnant, particularly when it has spanned years of time, thousands of dollars and countless other sacrifices, it can be hard to always find the blessing and good in life.
Work may be improving, living situations continue to be pleasant, yet it does not fill the void of laughing children in your family. It is however, important to step back from the pain so as to honor and recognize what is going successfully. This can help you from identifying yourself only by your struggles with conception and pregnancy.
It can be helpful during the transition time from struggling to achieving and maintaining pregnancy to connect with nature in a way that is nourishing and fulfilling. One option is beginning the garden indoors as they foretell of future food for your family. Nurture them as they are also your children. See them grow and connect to the energy of the growing things. Let your tears water the growing seedlings as your suffering is released. Allow nature to transform the heartache, the longing to feel the babe quickening in your womb; or to experience the right of passage which is labor and delivery and meeting your baby. Put all of this into the garden. Let the pain be transformed into something beneficial rather than be consumed with it.
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